Forever

Anyone else ever wish they knew back then what they know now?

It seems like the more I learn about my condition the more aggravated I am about the unfortunate circumstances in which I’ve been in the past. I feel like if I could go back, that I would do so many things differently. The problem with that premise is that one would then have to assume that I don’t like myself, which is untrue.

I’ve truly come to enjoy the person that I am through all the hardship I’ve experienced in the past year and I wouldn’t change that. Why, then, does the past sometimes keep me awake at night? Often times I’ll lie awake wondering what it would have been like if such and such had gone differently. It's counterproductive to do so, and I do so less than I used to – but there are still those nights that I cannot sleep because my thoughts keep drifting to less pleasant times.

The past shouldn’t last forever; I need to make sure I don’t let it.